Punxsutawney, PA: Once again, our furry meteorologists have poked their heads out into the world for the sole purpose of telling us when to expect winter to be over. This time, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, forecasting 6 more weeks of winter. Pennsylvanians on location cheered, and proceeded to set up lawn chairs and...
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New York, NY: For 40 years, Dick Clark has been a staple of the New Year's Eve celebration as his New Year's Rockin Eve show played in a majority of East Coast homes in the United States as both a party backdrop and as a timer for the new year. Clark's legacy seemed unending,...
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Berea, OH: Earlier this week, scientists made a one-of-a-kind discovery: a man who has never once listened to a Christmas carol performed by singer Mariah Carey. At a press release in Berea, Dr. Jim Foxentrot, head of the Christmas and Related Events of Yule branch of the Benevolent League of Winter Scientists (CAREY-BLOWS) revealed...
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New York, NY: For one of countless women, sex was boring and, literally, totally forgettable, once again. A continuing case study published in the September issue of the Glamour reported that a 29-year old woman experienced memory loss after having sex with her recently claimed boyfriend. The patient, Kaitlyn Walsh, came into the Lenox...
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New York, NY: Fear, destruction, and death have taken over the boroughs of Manhattan once again. Some would blame it on climate change. Others, President Obama, or underground mole people igniting bombs underground.Upon researching of The Shadow Government, it was learned that the name was held by a community of thrill-seekers that have made...
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New York, NY:Tragedy literally rocked the city of New York today, as countless victims were forced to endure the aftershock of an earthquake.
Re-enactment of actual events. The 5.9 magnitude quake originating from Mineral, Virginia sent a rippling effect through the east coast. Such traumatic events included open office doors moving...
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Dallas, TX: With the state fair more than a month away still, organizers are concerned about flagging attendance rates in a down economy. Therefore, they have already begun parceling out tightly-held secrets about this year’s Texas State Fair, including the most important one: this year’s new deep-fried goodie. While the recipe is considered top-secret...
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Nationwide, US: In an effort to avoid the inevitable holiday crowds this 4th of July weekend, revelers are finding creative ways to get out ahead of the curve in their celebrations. This head-start approach to the holiday is not without its complications, however. Americans in northern states who traveled to Canada in search of...
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United States: First, it was the Tanorexics—women in their teens, 20s and 30s with such a fondness for tan skin that they risk their lives just to resemble old, leathery shoes. But now, as skin cancer rates are on the rise and cosmetic companies everywhere are advertising “anti-aging” products, another extremist group has joined...
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Toronto, ON CANADA: Leprechauns, unicorns, fairies, and woodland nymphs are in an uproar over a Catholic school’s recent decision to ban rainbows from its premises. The problem started when the Saint Joe’s Catholic School in Ontario found themselves in the middle of a dilemma. Recently, an unofficial gay-straight alliance group formed at the school....
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