Tragedy has struck the holiday season, as an elf on the shelf at the Madison famiy residence was found mutilated in front of the living room fireplace early this morning.
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Tragedy has struck the holiday season, as an elf on the shelf at the Madison famiy residence was found mutilated in front of the living room fireplace early this morning.
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Pyongyang, NORTH KOREA: The highly possible, thought to have already happened and covered up by the use of body-doubles, has supposedly happened: North Korean dictator/rap artist/movie director/aviator trend-setter has passed away. The official reports state that Kim suffered a heart attack while riding a train on Dec. 17, and died of complications. However, many...
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Sirte, LIBYA: The world lost a legend today, as Libyan revolutionary forces surrounded the village of Sirte in a man-hunt for Tommy Lee Jones, who allegedly died in a shoot-out between the opposing forces. Witnesses confirmed that they saw the tall, elderly gentleman with Aviators enter a tunnel in the town, and did not...
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New York, NY: The holiday season is gearing up for its launch as Halloween looms closer. For one citizen, the holiday season is already here, as Paul Emmerlan prepares to celebrate his first Canadian Thanksgiving. "I have a housemate from Canada, so this will be the first time I'll be celebrating a Canadian Thanksgiving,"...
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Quaqortoq, GREENLAND: The path of hurricane Irene has been set to ride the mid to north-eastern coast of the United States, causing residents to panic in their own ways. However, the citizens of one particular region have felt neglected ever since learning how close they would be to the path of devastation: southwest...
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Vienna, AUSTRIA: For years, the wince-enticing entertainer known has Dane Cook has held a record that few believed was sought after, much less able to be broken. That record is for the longest wait to a punchline for a joke in a public forum. Now, the record has finally been broken, as Austrian citizen...
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Washington, DC: It is all but official. After being on the minds of the American public for almost 10 years after the terrorist activities he masterminded from across the Atlantic Ocean, the world's leading terrorist threat has been eliminated. According to correspondents at The Inept Owl, Armin Van Buuren is dead.
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St. Louis, MO: For what seems like 5 years, the anticipated royal wedding between Prince William and Catherine Middleton has loomed larger and larger. Luckily, the wedding, which is likely to last 4 or 5 days, will be over soon, making way for the least anticipated wedding of the past few decades next week....
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New York, NY: This past weekend tragedy struck, as that orbiting chunk of rock, the moon, came a whole 2 inches closer to the Earth than usual. The proximity caused a rippling effect of disaster, as supermoon sightings caused havoc down the East Coast.
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Bob Bordus of the Straight Marriage for Maryland group has finally added a new argument in the anti-gay marriage arsenal. “Gay marriage is the gateway marriage. Just like marijuana is the gateway drug,” said Bordus during a testimony he gave before the Maryland legislature. “If gay marriage is made legal, it won’t be long...
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