NY Jets Confirm End of High Profile Holdout
East Rutherford, NJ: At long last, one of the highest profile holdouts of pre-season football came to an end this
morning, as New York Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum and the person in question, with lawyers and agents overseeing, came to terms with a re-negotiated contract that would set the individual in question and his family for life.
“We finally took a long hard look at the man’s statistics during the short time he’s been here, the way he had helped invigorate the whole Jets organization, and found a way to make a compromise that would benefit both sides,” explained Mr. Tannenbaum. “Granted, we did have other options we were playing with to help fill this individual’s role, but he was always our first choice. Now, we just have to move on with driving this great team to a Super Bowl.”
The individual in question, of course, was none other than Bradley Thompson, team bus driver for the New York Jets.
For the past 2 years, Mr. Thompson had driven the team bus both speedily, but carefully, whenever bus travel was necessary. He was most well-known for inspiring team solidarity this year by instigating rousing group songs of “The Wheels on the Bus” and games of “I Spy”. This, of course, was helped by the demeanor of head coach Rex Ryan, a far cry from the solemn bus rides headed by former head coach Eric Mangini.
Unfortunately, Bradley Thompson’s contract only paid him per bus ride instead of a yearly contract amount. This led a loss of revenue for Mr. Thompson, who claimed that “waiting by that fucking phone for a call” hindered him from finding other work.
“Money wasn’t the major issue. Well it was, but it was also a sign of appreciation for the loyalty I’ve shown this franchise, and my work in keeping player spirits up during those grudgingly necessary bus rides,” explained Mr. Thompson. “I’m glad the Jets organization finally stepped up to show me that appreciation.”
With the new contracted, Thompson is expected to earn $160,000 during the next four years, with $40,000 of that guaranteed. With this new high-profile re-signing, the NY Jets organization hopes to calm some of the fan anxiety linked with another, lesser known holdout.
